Thinking about T. Rex

So I'm going to update y'all on what's been on or in my mind recently. I cannot get T. Rex songs out of my head right now. I like to boogie as much as the next chick, but the songs keep playing over and over in my head and now I'm tired of boogeying, putting black cats on my shoulders (I have three), and dancing with lizard leather boots on (ew). None of my projects are progressing right now, but that's not T. Rex's fault. The Wasabi Peas socks haven't gone passed the top of the cuff, my new psychadelic colored Noro top doesn't have even one lace repeat completed, and the Jared Flood Bridgewater shawl is going nowhere (this is the shawl I started so I could be a step ahead of one of my friends, fat chance!)... I have no time to knit teeny tiny lace in my house. Ok, no more griping. Everything gets done one stitch at a time. And, in that vein...

Things and thoughts just seem to pile up around me and inside of my head. The future, the future, you're all I've been thinking about lately. Lists of things I have yet to do in preparation for school, for more life, haunt me at every turn and I sit back sometimes and wonder why I haven't completed as much as I should have, when I should have. I hate that word, should. It implies so many things; passed up goals, missed opportunities, sloth, past potential. Shake it off. We all think these things, right? But this life, this day, this project, that job isn't about the end product. Cliche coming... It's about the journey there and the meanderings and diversions along the way. And it's all one thing at a time, just take care of what I can in this moment.

If I had finished school, etc, and my life had gone according to plan, I wouldn't be in this spot right now; I wouldn't know the people that I know, I wouldn't have seen the places I have seen. This world has pushed a great deal in front of my eyes, and without the disappointments and failures I have experienced, I wouldn't know how to appreciate things that truly count; watching my kitten chase dream spiders (she hallucinates a lot), feeling the springtime sun, humming along to T. Rex (see, slipped that one back in there), and taking unexpected opportunities that lead to far more enriching experiences than driving a luxury car and having, having, having a load of fancy crap to show off to others. To be continued... ;)

Knitting with silk and other sensual pleasures

So, for those of you who don't know, I work in a yarn shop, teaching knitting, crochet and selling all manner of fiber accoutrements. I love it. Not just because it's relatively low key and speaks to the underachiever within, but because of everything I see, hear and touch (there's also some tasty moments, but those have more to with lunch than work, and there's not much smell going on in the shop unless some wool got wet). We receive shipments each week of different yarns; basic wools, ready to turn into anything you can imagine, fuzzy mohairs, strong cottons, and silks. Silks that feel like cool, liquid butter moving between your fingertips, silks that smell like a crisp, autumn breeze; last week we received silk. It's always seemed outside of my sphere of creation, silk. It's cool when I want warm, it's delicate when I want sturdy, it's luxurious; and what would I do with luxury?
I bought it, that's what I did. I had to have those colors in my possession; creamy orange and all colors of the sunrise; I deserved this silk. So, that got me thinking; had I always avoided silk before because I thought I didn't deserve it, and what else am I missing out on simply because I thought I didn't deserve it? Heavy thoughts for so small a purchase. Knitting with this yarn has been somewhat cathartic, for me. Every yarn that passes through my fingers and onto my needles is appreciated, but this one made me think, and now I'm dumping old ideas. Although the fanciest places I tend to go on any regular basis are coffee houses, and my critters are the only ones critiquing my style; I deserve a little fancy. I deserve a little soft, delicate, slinky; after all, this life is not all about the utilitarian. And with this in mind, I spent my time on a recent trip watching the wind in the trees, wondering how it felt; noticing every shade of gray through indigo in the clouds... It was decadent. And now I feel like everyday I deserve a little of that luxury, I deserve a little moment to savor my senses and feel everything. While it is easy to feel that I am undeserving of such decadence; I am going to allow myself to experience these things because I can. So, what do you deserve? Maybe you should go out and get what you thought you never deserved, or at least give it a good try (unless you're one who has impulse control issues, etc).